
As children we were taken into dreamland as our parents read us fairytales and tucked us up in bed. We were taken to a land full of adventure and challenges.
The fairy tales were often about overcoming or surviving an experience that tested the main characters resilience.
In Little Red Riding Hood she had to deal with the wolf pretending to be something that he is not. In Snow White she had to deal with a stepmother that was jealous of her beauty in Hansel and Gretel the children had to confront abandonment by their own parents.
Its ironic that although fairy stories were read with delight and wonder, when a child screamed for their parent at night to save them from the boogie man under the bed or the troll in the cupboard, most parents would reply by saying ‘ see, darling there is nothing there, its just your imagination’ and parents have been known to threaten their children by saying ‘ if your naughty the boogey man will get you’. The bogeyman was common in folklore around the world and these otherworldly presences could be seen through the child’s eyes and could take any shape or form depending on the child’s fears.
We were told as children that fairies were real and some of us even had fairy tea parties and as children we knew they were real, we didn’t just believe, we knew. We even had the tooth fairy come and bring us a gift under our pillow, something our parents supported. At Xmas eve we rushed up to bed to sleep and wondered if we would see Santa as we had been encouraged to leave food out for him and to be good otherwise there would be no presents.
As children we were encouraged to see the ‘otherworld’ as real and a wonderful land of adventure and our imagination flourished. We connected deeply to the archetypal stories. It has been often said that children are closer to the world of spirit e.g.: like seeing fairies. As we get older that world of fantasy and imagination is thumped out of us by the so called ‘Real World’. We grow up ignoring the fear of the bogeyman in the cupboard (mine was actually under the bed, I used to take a leap and tuck my feet in tight) as we were told ‘its not real’.
What our parents didn’t have the insight or knowledge to help us work with our fears rather than push them into the unconscious. The first vampire movie I ever saw. I remember sitting between my fathers legs and holding his hand as I watched the black and white vampire movie. He would say ‘go to bed’ and I would be afraid so I wouldn’t go. When I finally went to bed with the sheets up at my chin I fell into a dream where all I saw was Dracula’s face and his teeth poking out trying to bit me. I screamed aloud and my mother came in to reassure me that it wasn’t real and I was safe. For many years onward I was frightened of the dark and always had the sheets up to my chin. The reassurance that it wasn’t real did nothing to curb my fears as in my reality IT WAS REAL.
Whether these experiences are seen as imagination or not, for a child whatever world they are experiencing is real and for someone to tell them its not doesn’t help to allay their fears.

If the child was an adult or young adult they would be told that they are having hallucinations or delusions, but if it’s a young child we just call it imagination.
Whatever the experience is ‘it feels real’. So we must treat it as such and like Little Red Riding hood or the witch in Hansel and Gretel, we need be resourceful and find out ways that we can overcome the witch, the wolf etc and the challenges they bring.
Many years ago a daughter of my friend was having great trouble sleeping and when she finally fell into some sleep she experienced nightmares that depicted her dead grandmother coming to visit her. She was terrified and still felt the presence when she awoke. She then refused to sleep in her own bedroom and would sleep in her mother’s bed every night.
My friend called me for support. I shared with her that it was best to teach her daughter how to communicate with what she was experiencing. I came and burnt sage in the room, played the medicine drum and asked her daughter to do this with me with strong intent. I also encouraged her to negotiate with the spirit of her grandmother and tell her that she loved her but she was being scared and asked that she didn’t come to her like that. She slept soundly from then on.
Many children don’t know what to do with these beings that they experience and rather than telling them that its not real you can help them negotiate with what is disturbing them
Simple questions can be asked:
- What is your name?
- What have you come to teach me?
- Play around, use the imagination, and encourage your child to use their imagination to work this out.
- Thank whatever being came to visit be it scary or no. It could just be in the wrong place…e.g. if it were a goblin it would do better in the woods in a far away land with some fairies?
from working title 'Once upon a time'
copyrightby Odette Nightsky 2009










